Friday, March 26, 2010

More than meets the eye

Well, since my dates are few and far between, here in Oregon, I had been looking forward to my date this evening, all week long. This was not a typical first date for me. I had met her at a grocery store on monday. Actually, she had met me. She noticed me in the section of the store where the baking supplies were. I was looking at the bags of cake flour, comparing prices and brands, when I heard a voice say, "damn, your girl got you grocery shopping?"
I looked up, saw her, and smiled. At about 5'5", about 145lbs, maybe mid 30s, black, friendly, and noticing me;that kind is extremely rare in Beaverton, Oregon. The causasians here are very friendly and personable, but I notice black women here seem to physically turn their head to look in the opposite direction when I make an entrance (I have a theory about that, which deserves it's own blog entry, at another time ). If I wasn't the only person in her proximity, I would have just thought she was talking to someone else. But she wasn't. She was talking to me! Anway, we got to talking about the items in my grocery cart. She told me her name was Sheila. I told her I was baking a cake for a former coworkers dinner party, as a favor to her, which impressed Sheila. She hinted that she loves Pineapple Upside Down cake and that she she didn't believe I could make one as good as her grandmother. I suggested coming over to make dinner and bake the cake at her place, and she said, "How good are you with soul food? I haven't had any greens or mac & cheese since Christmas. I told her that soul food was my specialty. She smiled and said " Ok then, how about friday," to which I said was cool. I told her I'll make some baby back ribs, some collard greens and mac & cheese, and the cake. We exchanged numbers, and went our separate ways.
Well, during the entire week, we called and texted each other, and she was telling me what she wanted for dinner, etc., I was getting to know her and I was looking forward to the date.
Today, about an hour before I leave work for the weekend, I get a phone call:

"Collect call from Sheila @ Clackamas County Jail."

Normally I would hang the phone up, but I'm curious, so I accept the call.
Me: Hello?
Sheila: Uhh, Alieux, I have to postpone the date.
Me: Why?
Sheila: I should tell you, it might be a while though.
Me: Why? Because you're in jail.
Sheila: They're trying to pin Accessory after the fact, obstruction of justice, and aiding and abetting, on me. But I swear I'm innocent. I didn't know my brother was hiding from the po-po. They said I was helping him evade police capture and giving him physical assistance to allow him to remain on the loose, but I swear, I didn't know he was hiding from the po-po. I swear. Well, I didn't think what he did was that bad, but anyway, they got us both locked up here.
Me: What do you want from me? I'm not bailing anybody outta jail.
Sheila: Wait, before you hang up, I'm scared. I know you're a Christian. Will you pray for me?
Me: Yeah, I'll pray for you. Bye.
Then I hung up the phone.
Now I have all these items for the makings of a dinner that includes baby back ribs, collard greens braised with smoked turkey, mac & cheese, and the cake. None of which I can eat (I can eat the greens though) myself because I'm on a diet

Thursday, March 18, 2010


Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I figured out what the problem is


In figuring out what love is about, I’ve been holding out for that 1 woman who will overwhelm me. I’ve been looking for my wife, instead of just dating. I now know that I don’t have to want to marry the woman that I date. I just need to ‘engage’; to get myself out there, just to go out and have fun. I don’t have a single unmarried friend here in Oregon with whom I have anything socially in common, as far as the type of music I like ( R&B, old-school R&B, hip hop, jazz), and I HATE going out by myself, but I need to get out of my comfort zone. Someone once said that ‘Life is what happens when you’re busy making other plans’;

  • My friend Enri met his now-wife while on a date with his girlfriend at the time.
  • My friend Robin met his now-wife while waiting for his blind date to show up.
  • My friend Jeremy met his now-fiancee while at a Laundromat with his girlfriend.
  • My friend Jamie met her now-husband in the elevator- they were headed to an office party- her boyfriend was his partner in the law firm.
  • My friend Patrick met his future wife while on a date with her sister.
  • My friend Lauren met her now-husband in church; her boyfriend had to work that Sunday
  • My friend Rachel met her future husband who was seated on the plane next to her when she was flying to New Mexico to see her boyfriend.
  • A former coworker named Barb met her husband while holding her boyfriend’s place in line to get football tickets. She and her husband have been married for 50 years now.
  • I even initially met my ex-girlfriend Shakara at the Gym while her boyfriend at the time was running late.


I don’t know where my future wife is, but now I feel more inspired than ever. She might not be the woman I’m dating at the time (no one, currently), but she might be someone I meet because of her. She could be the sister, or friend, or even the friend of a friend. Networking comes to mind.