Monday, December 8, 2014

Pretty but ugly

                  This morning I saw a woman on the bus. Skin smooth, dark like chocolate.  Full lips purple in color. Purple waist length tweed coat. Purple and red paisley print dress and red high heel shoes. Purple- favorite color; and red-the best color for black people to wear, an ex-girlfriend said.  Short curly  black afro. High cheek bones. Curvy Beyonce-like hips. Shapely calves. I don't like muscular women, but I loved her calves. I'd guess that she was in her late thirties. She was reading a thick book. My guess was that she was in school.
                   I saw her as I entered the bus. I'm pretty shy, and so I had spent about 5 minutes trying to build up the courage to say . As I sat there, glancing at her periodically, and thinking of what to say after hi or good morning, she looked at me, and, sounding like she was dropped from the ghettos of the slummiest part of Mississippi into the middle of Portland Oregon, she said loudly;

                    "What the fuck you looking at me fuh? Huh? Did you fuckin' lose something over here? Turn yo ass away from this direction okay?"

                    First of all, I thank God for revealing her ugliness. After seeing her external beauty, God showed me her internal ratched-ness in all its glory. Usually when I convince myself of failure for not speaking to a hot woman, I feel like kicking myself. Not this time. God let me know, in His infinite wisdom, not to waste one more minute of my time being hesitant to make a connection with her. She wasn't hot anymore.

                    So, in my attempt (and failing) to make her feel bad, I said,  "I was looking at you because I thought you were very attractive and I was trying to build up the courage to say hello and start a conversation based on your response, but you're not beautiful on the inside. Apparently you're a ratched bitch."

                    Then she began to cuss me out, but I put my headsets on and turned the volume up so I couldn't hear anything. I saw her lips moving fast but I didn't hear a word she said after;

                     "Who the fuck is you?"


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